The Onion's guide to Election Day

In case you have any Stateside relatives that may be feeling a bit intimidated by going and voting on Election Day, The Onion comes to the rescue with some handy tips on how to make the process easier, including some of these valuable and relevant gems:

• If at all possible, vote before work. That way, you can make smug comments to non-voters all day long.
  
• The new electronic voting machines are complicated. But don't worry: Octogenarians will be on hand to troubleshoot any technological problems that might arise.
  
• If your election official hooks you up to a machine via a needle in your arm, you are actually donating blood.
  
• Tip for those on the go: Voting a straight ticket can save you up to 15 seconds.

Speaking of Election Day, you may have noticed that I removed the banner ad for Overseas Vote 2004 - the absentee ballot request form is a bit pointless now - and also the "Vote in 2004" section to the right. Unless you are sending in a lastminute Write In Ballot by fax or through FedEx, you really should have cast your vote by now.

Comments

[Chrish]

Also, a shot of Tequila after voting does wonders
and several shots of Tequila really helps.. :o)